Self-Love

5 Reasons Why It’s Okay to Feel Lost in Your 20s, 30s

November 28, 2018

If you’re currently struggling through your 20s or 30s, you’re not alone. Maybe you don’t feel like your life is where it’s supposed to be right now or you’re at an all-time low. It doesn’t help that everyone tells you that your 20s and 30s are supposed to be super stressful so you can get to the happy times later.

None of it makes sense to you. Why should you have to spend years struggling and forcing yourself to go through the motions all for the sake of checking off a box on someone else’s list? Yes, you’re young but that doesn’t change the fact that you feel like you haven’t accomplished everything you wanted to yet and that you’re running out of time.

So where do you go from there? If you feel lost and unsure, here are five things that you need to remember.

1. If this is you, know that what you are feeling is perfectly normal. 

In my experience, that feeling of uncertainty and restlessness ebbs and flows. Having a quarter-life crisis is par for the course.

2. Life doesn’t flow in a straight line. The minute you accept that, you’ll notice a major shift in your perspective.

From a young age, we are told that life unfolds in one direction. In terms of relationships, you meet someone, you move in together and you get married. In terms of education and careers, you go to school, you get x amount of degrees, you find a high paying job and maybe land your dream career. We spend most of our lives trying to achieve that linear goal set up for us by society. But you know firsthand that life doesn’t work like that. This is why we tend to feel lost when we can’t reach that self-imposed deadline.

3. It’s true that your 20s and 30s are your transitioning years and help set up your life later…for the most part.

But that doesn’t mean that your future is only defined by what you do now. Despite what you think, you still have time to make decisions or change up your routine.

4. You can use this time to figure out what you really want to do with your life, career-wise.

If you spent x amount of years at a job that you either hate or are not passionate about, you should evaluate whether or not you can picture yourself here for another five years. Can you do that without sacrificing your happiness? If your answer is no, then you know what you have to do.

5. If you feel lost, it’s because you are actively trying to find yourself. You just don’t know where to start.

Relearn what makes you happy. Figure out what you need to truly be content and go after it. After having my quarter-life crisis, I came to the realization that I had zero ideas about how to come back to myself. Can you imagine being so disconnected with yourself that you can’t even think of one way to stay calm and present? So I set up a nightly routine where I could devote my full attention to making myself feel calm, happy and loved.

Whenever you feel lost, remember that you don’t have to remain stagnant. Take risks and venture out into the unknown. Some days will be harder than others, but you will get there.

Cassandra is a beauty and lifestyle writer. She spends most of her time treating herself to dinner and movie dates, pretending her life is a Marvel comic and figuring out how to keep her makeup on her face. Not necessarily in that order. She blogs about affordable outfits from her favorite movies and TV shows at Onscreencloset.com.

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