The Idea of Being in an Almost Relationship Scares Me (So I Don’t Date)
- You spend all day thinking about your plans with him that he made over a week ago, only for him to send a vague text canceling 30 minutes before. That’s a small step up from the times he didn’t send a text at all.
- You’re up all night psychoanalyzing his Facebook status and Snapchat stories, wondering how he can post about his deep connection with someone special (you) in one, and then flaunt about how he’s single in the other.
- After debating for hours, you send him a long text asking what you mean to him and to finally put an end to the “what-are-we” question that’s been hanging over your relationship for close to a year. He leaves you on read for days before replying with, “I really like you. I’m just not ready for a relationship.” Then, he slowly starts to disappear.
Those three situations sum up the hell that was my life in an almost relationship.
If you’re like me, dating in your 20s or 30s has largely consisted of these half attempts at him being invested but not too invested, vulnerable to an extent, and gaslighting you when he’s been dishonest from the beginning.
Staying in an almost relationship that seems to be on hold indefinitely only makes things harder. It’s harder to open your heart to the right person when your eyes are blinded by the wrong person. You deserve and need a partner who is ready to commit to you 100% and who will never hesitate to show you how he feels about you.
Why settle for less than you deserve? And you deserve everything.
This is why I’m done. I’m done accepting half-hearted attempts at dating that never pan out the way I want.
I’m done with almost relationships. I’d rather commit to being single.
When you’re single, you can spend more time focusing on your wants and needs without always being the one to sacrifice them for the sake of the relationship. You get to put yourself first, period. (Which you haven’t done in a really long time).
When you’re single, you can flirt without feeling guilty. You don’t have to worry about sending or receiving mixed signals because you’re keeping options open. And both parties are on the same page from the start.
When you’re single, you can go out with your friends without your phone burning a hole in your pocket from all your sent messages waiting for a response. No more waiting for him to reply back.
When you’re single, you don’t have to spend every waking moment wondering where you stand and if you’ll ever make things official. When you meet someone new, you’re actually open to seeing how things go and aren’t blinded by being committed to someone who isn’t committed to you. You take the time to fully enjoy your singleness without the added stress of figuring out his every move.
When you’re single and decide you’ve had it with the almost relationship phase and are opting out, you can protect your heart more easily. I’m so done with almost relationships. Bring on the single life.